You go to the loo in a public bathroom. Phobic of germs, clearly, you squat over the toilet bowl, thereby losing any accuracy, and proceed to piss all over the seat.
And then you leave it there.
Now call me crazy, but isn’t this the very problem that has you suspending yourself awkwardly, like some sort of mentally defective spider or a giraffe attempting to drink at a waterhole, over the bowl?
Do us a favour, sit like a normal person, or if you can’t aim properly, at least have the decency to clean up your mess like a good girl, okay?