We’re so domestic and all and all. I’m busy catching up on some reading and blogging, while Hubby plays music in the living room. My clickety-clacking on the keyboard occasionally works in harmony with the low tone of his bass. Bliss.
The word of the last few weeks has been balance. It keeps recurring with me, and of course I know it is usually what we are all in pursuit of, but I keep having to remind myself that I only need to take things a day at a time. I have a tendency to start feeling guilty about all the things I should be doing with my time that I am not currently doing. I start to feel bad that I didn’t do any teaching prep today, but then have to remind myself that I have been feeling like I was run over by a bus since I woke up at 5am on Sunday morning, after having dreamed I had a headache and was swallowing handfuls of Ibuprofen, only to find that I in fact had not just a headache, but a migraine and subsequently needed to swallow handfuls of Ibuprofen (along with other good pain killing things).
I know it’s all about giving yourself permission. And then leaving it at that. Not second guessing, or feeling bad if you sit on the couch and watch bad soapies (sorry – tautology) and freakish spawners on Maury. The trick is not to let yourself do this every day!! When you run your own business like I do, as well as doing a part-time job (in my case teaching), I have to create my own schedule and manage my time. I don’t have anyone else to tell me what to do or when to do it, which is lovely. And terrifying! It is always a case of balancing it all out, taking breaks, but also putting in the effort and the discipline when it is needed to ensure you get everything you want out of your work. Not an easy feat.
I just have to keep reminding myself to be gentle to myself, to give myself permission, and also not to panic or let things get out of my control.
Balance, balance, balance. Indeed.